11/03/2006 05:38:00 AM
yo... another 2wks has past since i last update my blog.. =P e past 2 wks didnt update blog, chat online nor check my mail.. i think wat surprised me e most is my email.. gosh.. i've 218 new mails within 2wks.. have yet to find out who's e culprit who bombed my email.. so far wat i see r 'proper' emails.. like nco course stuff, nov schedule, sj stuff mainly.. =/ dun understand how can all dat make up to 218 new mails.. haha.. e past 1 1/2 wk, been thinkin abit.. while i struggle to get focus n find motivation to start studying 3 my exams, i realise dat i've a very very serious problem.. and dat's DISCIPLINE! hope it's not too late to really realise it n see for myself how ILL-DISCIPLINE i'm.. wonder where my fighting spirit, perserverance in e past gone to.. there were alot of "if only....", "aiya, i shld haf...", "nvm..." in my mind.. satan indeed is fighting very hard to distract me frm getting focus to study.. come to e point where nth seems to b able to go into my brain.. this happened on wed nite when i'm studying for my psycho paper.. gosh.. sooooooooo many theories n concepts to rmb n understand.. so.. e "if only i studied earlier, more regularly..", "i shld haf done this earlier.." all these thoughts came to my mind.. oso was very convicted when jh said "haha expected one lor.. u'r everytime late.. as long as one's ur fren, they shld noe.."when i spend time w ying jiun, she shared a paragraph in e bible.. i cant find e passage now.. it basically talked abt disciplined = strong tree n ill discipline = bush.. so it's juz a matter of whether i wan to be disciplined or ill-disciplined.. i end up gg hm thinking "i wan to b a tree.. dun wan to be a bush.. i wan to be a tree.. dun wan to be a bush.." haha.. wen to ying jiun's hse nearly everyday.. gd thing dat she stayed near me.. such a blessing.. she's so motherly too.. there was a day where she cooked lunch n bought dinner 4 me (while i stayed at her place n study), there was oso a day where i stayed over, nxt morning we had breakfast tog den she went off to wrk i went back to her place n study.. until dinner time w her exhausted face n body, she still went to buy n cook dinner for me.. so blessed.. so loved.. haha.. we even chat 4 awhile.. got to noe each other more.. she's juz like a big big sister.. teaching me god's words.. teaching me abt character sins, how to change, how to repent n basically juz to please god w our christian life.. wat it means to be a disciple.. im so blessed!! well.. actually typed tis last wk but didnt manage to post it.. i think juz gotta find time 4 myself.. this isn't doing me any gd.. everyday busy frm day (even b4 e sun rises) till nite (after e moon "rise").. dun haf thinking time for myself.. '06 coming to an end.. think in 2 wks time, during my holidays.. i'll get a day for myself.. hmm.. mayb can make it a day where i go on a date w god too.. been saying it but haven go for it.. kept procrastinating.. so many sj stuff to do.. got bombed n tml's e meeting! i'm not gg! muz finish my part n let san dong pass e info n msg to dj.. gosh.. still got attachment tml.. rather later.. how to sleep???!! i wan to slp!!
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